natalia alexandrova
Julia's dream
Two days after the do I want to have a child? session Julia shared her dream. Dreams are unconsciousness "talking" with us. An important mental work takes place in a dream: information and emotions are processed, key processes are displayed, decisions are prompted. Emotionally charged and recurring dreams are especially informative: the psyche actively shows what it is worth paying special attention to.
Julia: "After the session I slept uneasily, woke up in the morning with a headache that lasted all day. Today I had a dream. It felt as if it was a continuation of yesterday's dream, but I didn't remember that one. In a dream, I found out about the death of my mother. And I did not have the opportunity to contact her - she just disappeared. In a dream I could feel that my mother has left. It was the first time to experience a feeling like this. On the one hand, those are confusing feelings, and on the other hand, understanding that it is inevitable, and I must somehow continue living with it".

My comment:

The dream does not mean that her mother can really physically die. It is about the transition of their relationships to a new level, about Julia's psychological separation from her mother. When the old style of relationship dies, in dreams it can manifest itself as death. An analogy can be drawn with a grain: thrown into the ground, it dies, giving life to a new sprout.

At each stage of development a child has certain needs that have to be fulfilled. If at some stages something went wrong, fixation takes place: a person has an unconscious desire to return to those periods and add, finish, change something about them. If fixation is associated with parent-child relationships, a complete psychological separation does not occur.

We identified the earliest fixation sites, reformatted them and integrated them into the psyche. Julia got a few needs fulfilled during the session: as a fetus in the womb (love, bliss, warmth, security), then as a little child (she saw her mother's new attitude, she changed her attitude to the mother, and felt her love).

She got psychologically ready to separate, and it was symbolically reflected in the death of her mother and her willingness to accept this news and continue living with it.

However, even good changes cause a feeling of anxiety: old schemes are no longer relevant, and new ones have not yet been worked out. Hence the headache, anxiety, restless sleep. This is normal. The headache also means that there are deep changes happening in her mind. In real life, separation requires several years, and then the umbilical cord was "cut" in an hour of work. If such disturbing dreams do not recur, it means the brain successfully worked the situation through. It takes a little time for the psyche to adapt.
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