Understanding that Julie felt some relief herself. Her fear that with such feelings she can hurt the child has diminished.
Then I asked Julia to come up with an image of negative, "wrong" feelings towards the child. It turned out to be a yellow pilates ball. Julia identified with the ball, and felt a lump in her stomach - it was a ball of wool, which turned into a hedgehog, and later into fertile soil, which wanted to become part of a land. We allowed it to connect with earth, then it turned into a green garden, where everything was beautiful.
Returning to the image of the ball, Julia felt sadness. I asked if there was emptiness inside the ball, Julia replied that there was.
(Emptiness in the emotional-image therapy are always a sign of something repressed. It is an analogue of psychological protection "repression", and in the rubber is also additional "isolation." So it was double defence mechanism).
I asked Julia to let the emptiness in the ball to reveal us what was repressed. It was a small twinkle that could melt the ball, if Julia would let it.
Julia identified with the image of the twinkle. It seemed to be perky, playful, wanting to bully all around. It was hiding in the ball to suddenly jump out and set on fire something. Everyone would start running around and screaming. But why does the twinkle do that? His answer was that it made it feel needed.
I clarified if the client uses such a strategy to feel needed? She admitted that she tends to behave this way, now less often though. Let us recall the behaviour of the child at the beginning of session: the mother will come, if the child cries loudly, creating a sense of trouble.
A child is helpless without an adult and and does whatever it can to not to be abandoned, because this can pose a direct threat to their life. This scheme worked for a little girl, and back then it was adequate. Now is the time to change this style of behaviour.
The twinkle is an image of the client's Inner Child, seeking attention through the creation of mini-disasters. On behalf of Julia, we talked with the twinkle: we told it that it is good, that Julia liked, that it was allowed to be playful and alive, that she really needed it. The twinkle demanded proof of these words though. (By the way, if you need constant evidence of love from your partner, look for your children's part, which feels abandoned and unnecessary. Remove its fears, and it will no longer require confirmations).
The twinkle wanted the client to draw it, wand Julia did so. Later we told it, that it is possible to be feel needed in a different way, not by creating problematic situations, but, for example, it can warm you its warmth or light something up. The light tried to do so, and people began to come up and rejoice.
I asked the light to look at the child. It wanted to please her: it began to light candles up on a cake, which made the little girl happy.
Next, we returned to the image of the pilates ball, it has already turned into an adult Julia. The client confirmed that it was another her inner part - observant, calm, judicious. The message from this part to the little girl was: "Mom loves you, despite the mood." There was also a message to the client herself: "Don't worry, you have everything you need. And the rest depends only on your decisions and desires".
The image of the pilates ball is a rational part of the client. This part was suppressing her Inner Child (the twinkle), since it didn't behave very well, trying to attract attention. However, what we suppress always tried to find its way out. Moreover, the motivation at the twinkle was instinctive - to survive and not to be forgotten. When the question of survival arises, cultural superstructures are fragile, and one has to spend a lot of energy on suppression.
Julia identified with an image of her mother. She was surprised that the girl plays with candles, since it is not unsafe. One other hand she noticed that the girl can occupy herself, she realized that the girl don't depend on her, that she can develop and explore the world. The emotional burden was gone.
Our main task was to make it clear to the girl that she was loved, despite irritation, fatigue and other feelings associated with motherhood. I asked the client explore the image of my mother and look into her body, to find where love for this child lives. Love was in the lower abdomen in the form of a red flower (often the image of the uterus).
Becoming this red flower, Julia felt love for the girl. On behalf of the flower, we told the baby that she can take as much love as she needs at any time. We mentally shared this love with her: a flower hugged the girl, its warmth was absorbed through her arms.
Next, we identified with the image of the little girl. She said that she feels like in the womb of her mother, it is warm and comfortable. (The hypothesis that the flower is the uterus was confirmed). We got to the earliest stage when the fetus should feel loved and needed.
The girl was completely dissolved in warmth and love from her mother's flower. I asked her to leave the uterus.
Julia, like many other clients, did not want to leave this place. After all, this is a state of bliss, security, happiness. However, it is important to bring a person out, and walk them through the symbolic process of birth.
When the girl came out of the flower, she became interested in the world around her. She looked at her mother and got surprised that she was so worried, because everything looked fine with her.
Julia became herself again, accepted this girl and the calm judicious part of herself.
The final step is the verification phase. I again asked to describe her reaction to the word "child". The client was surprised to feel completely different emotions. Now for her child is something natural, as part of human life. Nothing contact inside, there was also no fear. Yes, there will be some changes, limitations with coming of a child, but she will treat this with understanding. She also does not feel the annoyance of thinking about the child. I also asked where love for a child lives. Julia replied that in the lower abdomen and chest. She also noted that the phrase about negative emotions being parent's responsibility helped her a lot.